Alcoholism is a vice that has been long an issue within the community. However, it is also a vice that not only the person who has it suffers. Everyone who is involved with that person also gets affected by the addiction that the person has learned to have. The most affected people are the family itself. The unfortunate thing is that there is a huge possibility that the children within a family with an alcoholic member can also develop the same characteristics. These adult children of alcoholics characteristics include:
Afraid of Losing Control
As an effect, they always ensure that they have tight control over their feelings and behavior. Unfortunately, it also leads to controlling the feelings and behavior of others. It is their way of dealing with their fear of losing control. It is not something done for the purpose of hurting others or their selves. Maintaining their control is their way of avoiding feeling anxious and the possibility of their lives getting worse if they do not hold to that control.
Afraid of Feelings and Emotions
As a defense mechanism or an effect of being in a household with an alcoholic member, the adult children of these people tend bury their feelings. It is not easy for them to express their emotion since they are children. And, it leads to them developing fear of powerful and positive emotions.
Work Hard to Avoid Conflicts
The children of alcoholics, when they grow up, develop the fear of those people in authority and angry. They often misinterpret assertiveness as anger. Hence, they always seek the approval of others, which leads to losing their identity. Most of the time, they even prefer to keep to themselves.
Difficulty Having Fun or Relaxing
When children of alcoholics grow up, they find it hard to enjoy and have fun. It becomes more so when they know that there are others who are watching. It is not only hard for them. Making the effort of doing so is stressful for them. A reason of it is that the child within is frightened.
1. Low Self-Esteem - Even though they are competent, it is easily affected or becomes not useful because of their low self-esteem.
2. Difficulty Dealing with Intimacies - This is so because they are afraid of losing control. They find it hard to express what they need and they often have issues with their sexuality.
3. Tendency to Develop a Victim Mentality - In this aspect, they can either be an aggressive or passive victim. Most of the time, they get attracted to people who are like them.
4. Development of Compulsive Behavior - It is either they become workaholics or eat compulsively. It also applies in other aspects. The worst is they may become alcoholics themselves.
There are other more adult children of alcoholics characteristics. In fact, the list is long and in that list, one will see how destructive it is on the part of children to have parents who are alcoholics.