43 Best Don Rickles Quotes

43 Best Don Rickles Quotes

by / Comments Off / 8091 View / Nov 20, 2014

Donald Jay “Don” Rickles is a comedian and actor from New York City. He enlisted and served in the U.S. Navy during World War II and began his comedy career shortly after. He is known as an “insult comedian” because he always responds to hecklers in his audiences. He began his film debut in the 1960-70′s and starred in many films of the time. He is still alive and performs comedy all around the world.

“Alan King, a comedian I adored, was considered society, and I was considered the Jewish kid from the neighborhood.”

“Asians are nice people, but they burn a lot of shirts.”

“Eddie Fisher married to Elizabeth Taylor is like me trying to wash the Empire State Building with a bar of soap.”

“Every night when I go out on stage, there’s always one nagging fear in the back of my mind. I’m always afraid that somewhere out there, there is one person in the audience that I’m not going to offend!”

“Half the battle is that people have to like you before you say one joke, one bit of humor.”

“He had a style that nobody else had, and I think when you’re separate from the rest, it makes you kind of special.”

“He’s Perry Como’s kid by another marriage.”

“I can sit all day in a comfortable chair and watch ball games, but I don’t need a blanket.”

“I cannot tell a joke. But I can do a situation, that it becomes a joke.”

“I don’t care if the average guy on the street really knows what I’m like, as long as he knows I’m not really a mean, vicious guy. My friends and family know what I’m really like. That’s what’s important.”

“I don’t do impressions.”

“I never went out looking for glory.”

“I think if I took therapy, the doctor would quit. He’d just pick up the couch and walk out of the room.”

“I used to play golf. I wanted to be a better player, but after a while I realized I’d always stink. And that’s when I really started to enjoy the game.”

“I was sitting in the toilet and I was by myself. I was tired of playing with the roller, so I said I’d better write a book.”

“I’d like to think my performance is today. I never try to – it’s so, as you know, watching me, I have a beginning, middle and ending. But every night the show changes and I relate to an audience and I relate to the young people.”

“I’m pleased to have been chosen by Coach G. and the team. I know they’ll do me proud, … If not, I’m going to invite them to leave Tucson and come to one of my Las Vegas shows, and then make them sit outside in the desert and let them watch their skates melt.”

“I’m very shy so I became very outgoing to protect my shyness.”

“In our day we went from – we went into saloons. We couldn’t cross over like you can today, get a television series and all of a sudden you’re a major movie star, you know.”

“In the 45 years I’ve worked in casinos, I dreamed of being honored by an organization like the American Gaming Association, especially since I don’t even have a hunting license.”

“It takes many years to be a great comedian.”

“Italians are fantastic people, really. They can work you over in an alley while singing an opera.”

“It’s very sweet to have people say nice things about you, and I always accept that.”

“My whole act is off the top of my head.”

“No matter where you go in this world, you will always find a Jew sitting in the beach chair next to you.”

“Oh my God, look at you. Anyone else hurt in the accident?”

“People think being in your seventies means sitting around in a chair with a blanket over your legs, drooling.”

“Sex is great, but when you get to be my age, you’ve got to pace it a little bit. Otherwise you get tired.”

“Some people call me a legend and the last of the greats, and I appreciate it.”

“Struggling is hard because you never know what’s at the end of the tunnel.”

“The man I adored, and miss him terribly, was Johnny Carson.”

“The old days were the old days. And they were great days. But now is now.”

“The transformation has been unbelievable. When I started here, I worked in a place where the Sky Room was on the second floor.”

“The young comedians always ask me, ‘What’s the secret for staying around?’ I tell them, ‘There is no secret – just stay around. Longevity is the most important thing.”‘

“Well, I call myself an actor. I always wanted to be one.”

“When he did his monologues, it was always about the public and what was happening, right up before airtime, … Hope and Humor.”

“When I got out of high school, I wanted to be an actor but was getting a lot of rejections. I was getting rejected by life. My mother, God rest her soul, told me not to quit.”

“When I walk down the street in New York, I swear to God, the building constructor, the guy pounding cement and what not, will yell, ‘Hey, you hockey puck!”‘

“When you stand alone and sell yourself, you can’t please everyone. But when you’re different, you can last.”

“Who picks your clothes – Stevie Wonder?”

“Yeah, I make fun of blacks, and why not? I’m not a black.”

“You can’t study comedy; it’s within you. It’s a personality. My humor is an attitude.”

“You’ve got to be able to sell yourself.”