33 Incredible Joe Rogan Quotes

33 Incredible Joe Rogan Quotes

by / Comments Off / 7998 View / Dec 15, 2014

Joe Rogan is a stand up comedian and actor from New Jersey. He was the host of the reality show Fear Factor for many years, and then went on to commentate for the Ultimate Fighting Championship. He currently has his own show, Joe Rogan Questions Everything, on Syfy channel.

“After this whole acting thing is over and done, you eventually have to be human. Some people are never human. It’s very weird.”

“Although not considered a martial art, boxing is really a martial art. It’s a very limited martial art as long as you agree to just box… but in an actual physical fight against someone
who’s just a wrestler, you’re going to get killed.”

“Faith itself is a horrible mechanism that stunts the growth of ideas. It also stunts the act of questioning, and it does this by pushing the idea that you have to have faith – and that
nothing has to be proven.”

“I am not homophobic; I am cock-conscious.”

“I don’t care if you’re gay, black, Chinese, straight. That means nothing to me. It’s all an illusion.”

“I had a great time on News Radio, I got to make tons of money in relative obscurity and learn a lot about the TV biz and work on my standup act constantly. It was a dream gig.”

“I had a sense of who I was before I got famous.”

“I never want to compromise my act just to get a laugh.”

“I really feel like it’s a travesty to make a child famous. I really do.”

“I really never had any ambitions to be a standup comic. I was talked into it by guys that I used to work out with.”

“I think that one of the reasons why people look towards the end of humanity is that people are afraid to die alone. If you die alone, the people you love will miss you, or if they die, you
miss them – the sorrow is inevitable. When you truly love someone, the thought of losing them forever is horrible.”

“I wouldn’t totally rule out doing Letterman or the Tonight Show if I had a set that I just happened to write that I thought was funny but was still appropriate for network censors. But I’m
not going to go out of my way.”

“If the world was an etch-a-sketch, glaciers are the big shake.”

“If you ever start taking things too seriously, just remember that we are talking monkeys on an organic spaceship flying through the universe.”

“If you haven’t peed the bed, you haven’t taken enough chances.”

“I’m a huge Groucho fan. There were some great comic minds that would transfer into any generation, and Groucho is certainly one of them.”

“I’m afraid of heights. Not unreasonably, but rationally afraid of heights. I think everyone is.”

“Just because I’m staring deep into your birth canal does not mean that I’m fucked up. It means you should have paid more attention in high school and I have a dollar. I have four quarters
and you have a bad job. Don’t get pissed at me because you didn’t learn how to type, you no-back-up-plan-having pain in the ass.”

“Maybe we can combine 2 things that everybody loves. Helping out the poor and blow jobs.”

“Nature is everything, okay? We don’t like to think that our society is nature, because we created it. But guess what? This is no different than a fuckin’ beehive; it’s just more
complicated, cuz people are smarter than bees. Cities are natural, that’s why they’re everywhere….You know what’s not natural? You…in the middle of the mountains…in the middle of the

“Never stay in a bad marriage, and don’t hang around with psycho coke fiends.”

“No girl wants a secretly gay boyfriend, every dude wants a secretly gay girlfriend.”

“No matter how civilized we are and how much society has curbed violent behavior. Human beings still have the same genes they had 10,000 years ago. Our bodies are designed to have a certain
amount of physical stress and violence in them. We’re designed to run from jaguars and fight to defend our territory.”

“On my left knee I have a long scar from an ACL operation. I’ve had both knees reconstructed.”

“People are scared man, they’re scared of the void.”

“People want their 15 minutes and are willing to do anything to get it.”

“Steak is delicious and cows are stupid.”

“The comics I hate are thieves. Nothing’s more disgusting than a guy who steals another person’s ideas and tries to claim them as his own.”

“We have comic book bad guys. Osama Bin Laden is right out of a fucking comic book. Think about it: He’s a billionaire genius…who hates us! He lives in a cave. He used to work for the good
guys and got all their secrets, and then he switched over to the dark side. And every time they almost capture him, he mysteriously gets away, and leaves behind a threatening tape. What is
this, a fuckin’ Stan Lee production?”

“When someone comes along and expresses him or herself as freely as they think, people flock to it. They enjoy it.”

“When women go to see men strip, we never accuse you of hating men.”

“You could smell my ass from mars. ”

“Your body’s really only meant to compete at the highest levels of combat sports for a few years.”