33 Greatest Andy Rooney Quotes

33 Greatest Andy Rooney Quotes

by / Comments Off / 52 View / Jan 7, 2015

Andy Rooney was a radio and television writer from Albany, New York. He is most famous for his weekly radio show “A Few Minutes with Andy Rooney”, which became part of the CBS program 60 Minutes. He died on November 4, 2011 at the age of 92.

“Being kind is more important than being right. ”

“Death is a distant rumor to the young.”

“Elephants and grandchildren never forget.”

“Everyone you meet deserves to be greeting with a smile.”

“Happiness depends more on how life strikes you than on what happens.”

“I can always pray for someone when I don’t have the strength to help him in some other way.”

“I don’t like food that’s too carefully arranged; it makes me think that the chef is spending too much time arranging and not enough time cooking. If I wanted a picture I’d buy a painting.”

“If you smile when no one else is around, you really mean it.”

“It’s best to give advice in only two circumstances; when it’s requested, and when it’s a life threatening situation.”

“Ive learned That having a child fall asleep in your arms is one of the most peaceful feelings in the world. ”

“Life is like a roll of toilet paper – the closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes. ”

“Life is tough, but I’m tougher.”

“Making duplicate copies and computer printouts of things no one wanted even one of in the first place is giving America a new sense of purpose.”

“Men wake up aroused in the morning. We can’t help it. We just wake up and we want you. And the women are thinking, “How can he want me the way I look in the morning?” It’s because we can’t
see you. We have no blood anywhere near our optic nerve.”

“Money doesn’t buy class.”

“Most of us end up with no more than five or six people who remember us. Teachers have thousands of people who remember them for the rest of their lives.”

“No matter how serious your life requires you to be, everyone needs a friend to act goofy with.”

“Nothing in fine print is ever good news.”

“People will generally accept facts as truth only if the facts agree with what they already believe.”

“Phyllis Schlafly speaks for all American women who oppose equal rights for themselves.”

“Simple walks with my father, around the block on summer nights when I was a child, did wonders for me as an adult. ”

“Taxes are important. President Bush’s tax proposals leave no rich person behind. Voters approve of President Bush helping the kind of people they wish they were one of.”

“That just one person saying to me, “You’ve made my day!” makes my day.”

“That sometimes all a person needs is a hand to hold, and a heart to understand.”

“The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there’s a 90% probability you’ll get it wrong.”

“The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.”

“To ignore the facts does not change the facts.”

“We should be glad God doesn’t give us everything we ask for.”

“We should change our attitude toward the United Nations. There has to be some power in the world superior to our own. We should not have attacked Iraq without the okay of the United
Nations. Now we have to live with that mistake. We’re living with it, and too many of our guys are dying with it.”

“We’ve sent a man to the moon, and that’s 29,000 miles away. The center of the Earth is only 4,000 miles away. You could drive that in a week, but for some reason nobody’s ever done it.”

“When those waiters ask me if I want some fresh ground pepper, I ask if they have any aged pepper.”

“When you harbor bitterness, happiness will dock elsewhere.”

“You should never say no to a gift from a child.”