32 Great Kevin Hart Quotes

32 Great Kevin Hart Quotes

by / Comments Off / 239 View / Nov 18, 2014

Kevin Hart is a comedian and actor from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. He had a troubled childhood with a drug addicted father and was solely raised by his mother. He began his comedy career by doing amateur hour competitions until he got his first break in 2000 after he was cast in the TV show Undeclared. He has starred in many movies and comedy specials and currently stars as himself in the lead role of Real Husbands of Hollywood.

“Ain’t gonna lie, I got the bill…I didn’t like it. You ever get a bill so high, you try to put it in the light, like its gonna change.”

“Because of what I do, it has to be an open book, but right now this is a book that is being written.”

“Ever argue with a female and, in the middle of the argument, you no longer feel safe because of her actions? She may start pacing back and forth real fast, breathing out her nose. You know what my girl do? When she get mad, she start talking in the third person. That’s scary as hell because that’s her way of telling me that from this point on, she is not responsible for none of her actions.”

“F**k you and these ugly ass kids!”

“Hello everybody and welcome to NWA airline. Here at NWA safety is a very important part of flying but I mean come on lets be real if something goes wrong we’re all going down right.”

“How the hell do you wake up dead?”

“I DON’T have EX’s! I have Y’s. Like ‘Y the hell did I date you?!”

“I don’t like to hear woman argue…it makes my balls itch.”

“I shouldn’t have to ask for your permission for me to put you in my lie!”

“I think if you get kicked in the face you deserved it because that means that you watched the foot come to your face.”

“If you get in a fight and you’re with me? Then you just got f**ked up!”

“If you’re my bestfriend I shouldn’t have to ask you to lie for me.”

“I’m gonna go Jackie Chan on your ass!”

“No Nipple Having Ass Bitch!”

“No, no, no, I come free with a vente latte!”

“Now, don’t be a negro, be my ni** a. Help me out.”

“People may hate you for being different and not living by societies standards, but deep down they wish they had the courage to do the same.”

“Real ni**as. ALL day! Just me. By myself. On the block. Holdin’ it down. Gun in my waist. Straight face. All day. Not a game. In jail. By myself. 1 bed. No pillow case. 1 pillow. Didn’t nobody write me. It was early. Woke up. Went back to sleep. Took a nap. You ever go night night ni**a?”

“Relationships are like farting, If you push too hard… things could get messy real fast.”

“Say it with ya chest, lil a** ni**a!”

“So I’m at the office, I tell this guy…Pass me the stapler, but when you pass it, make sure staples are in it, because if it isn’t, I can’t staple anything.”

“Somebody come here and look at this…look at this…God damn cat drinking milk out the bowl. GET OUT THE BOWL!”

“The day Rick Ross dives into the crowd, is the day we find out who his true fans are.”

“The only time you should look back in life, is to see how far you have come.”

“The sound of the headboard, that’s motivation.”

“When I left, I took all the backs to her earrings, yeah I don’t want the earrings I just want the backs. You could put them on but your’e gonna f*cking lose them without the backs. I suggest you buy a pack of pencils and get it poppin with those f*cking erasers b*tch!”

“Yo, don’t joke about zombies. That shit there – that’s real.”

“You better close your mouth before someone comes up and puts their dick in it.”

“You gon learn today!”

“You know how you know you have lost a fight with your woman? When the cops come in and say, sir do you wanna press charges?”

“You like cheese without the corners, in other words you’ll never be a slice bitch!”

“You see, the way my bank account is set up…”