24 Incredible Moms Mabley Quotes

24 Incredible Moms Mabley Quotes

by / Comments Off / 4025 View / Nov 20, 2014

Moms Mabley, born as Loretta Mary Aiken, was a comedian of the early 1900′s. She started her performing career in a travelling show where she sang and danced. She began appearing in comedy clubs where she grew more popular. She recorded 20 full length albums in her career and remains one of the most successful female comedians. She died at the age of 81 from heart failure.

“A woman’s a woman until the day she dies, but a man’s only a man as long as he can.”

“Advice to children crossing the street: damn the lights. Watch the cars. The lights ain’t never killed nobody.”

“Ain’t nothing an old man can do for me but bring me a message from a young one.”

“Anytime you see me with my arms around an old man, I’m holding him for the police.”

“Baby, I’mma stomp you!”

“Black women, white women- all of them. I’m colorblind. I don’t know the difference. I only know you’re a human being and you’re my children.”

“Dont kiss me! You might start something you can’t finish.”

“He was so ugly… he hurt my feelings.”

“I don’t want nothing old but some old money. Buy me some young ideas. That’s what I’m gonna do with it.”

“I was real uptight with him, he certainly was uptight with me; you better believe. He took a lot off me and the lease I could do was take his name.”

“I was taught to work; couldn’t jive my way through. You talk about rehearsals-honey, we rehearsed before shows, between shows and after shows.”

“If you don’t want your children to know the truth about life don’t send ‘em to the theater to see Moms ’cause I’m gonna tell them THE TRUTH, hear?”

“Life is like a game of poker: If you don’t put any in the pot, there won’t be any to take out.”

“Love is like playing checkers. You have to know which man to move.”

“My granny was a slave, she did all her cooking in her fireplace…she told me ‘child, you look into that fireplace and see the future in those flames, cuase you’re gonna see the world like
your granny never did’.”

“My husband was so ugly, he used to stand outside the doctor’s office and make people sick.”

“That man so old… he’s older than his birthday.”

“The comedian on learning from mistakes.”

“The teenagers ain’t all bad. I love ‘ern if nobody else does. There ain’t nothin’ wrong with young people. Jus’ quit lyin’ to ‘ern.”

“There ain’t nothin’ an ol’ man can do but bring me a message from a young one.”

“They say you shouldn’t say nothin’ about the dead unless it’s good. He’s dead. Good!”

“Use those brains that God put in your head.”

“Without that basic foundation in showmanship, an at can’t remain at the top.”

“You know Moms has been accused of liking young men, and I’m guilty.”