18 Most Famous Lenny Bruce Quotes

18 Most Famous Lenny Bruce Quotes

by / Comments Off / 1535 View / Dec 1, 2014

Lenny Bruce, born Leonard Schneider, was a stand up comedian and satirist from the early 1900′s. His comedy gained popularity due to its topics of religion, sex, satire, and vulgar nature. His outlandish style paved the way for counterculture comedians. He died in 1966 at the age of 40.

“Communism is like one big phone company.”

“Every day people are straying away from the church and going back to God.”

“I want to perform an unnatural act.”

“If God created the Body, and the Body is dirty, then the fault lies with the Manufacturer.”

“If I get busted in New York, the freest city in the world, that will be the end of my career.”

“If Jesus had been killed twenty years ago, Catholic school children would be wearing little electric chairs around their necks instead of crosses.”

“If you live in New York, even if you’re Catholic, you’re Jewish.”

“In the halls of justice, the only justice is in the halls.”

“Let me tell you the truth. The truth is what is, and what should be is a fantasy. A terrible, terrible lie that someone gave to the people long ago.”

“Liberals can understand everything but people who don’t understand them.”

“Life is a four-letter word.”

“Never tell. Not if you love your wife… In fact, if your old lady walks in on you, deny it. Yeah. Just flat out and she’ll believe it: “I’m tellin’ ya. This chick came downstairs with a
sign around her neck ‘Lay on Top of Me Or I’ll Die.’ I didn’t know what I was gonna do….”

“People are leaving the church and going back to God.”

“Take away the right to say “fuck” and you take away the right to say “f**k the government.”

“The “what should be” never did exist, but people keep trying to live up to it. There is no “what should be,” there is only what is.”

“The role of a comedian is to make the audience laugh, at a minimum of once every fifteen seconds.”

“There are never enough ‘I love you’s.”

“When you are eight years old, nothing is any of your business.”